Cinema News and Reviews for the Rest of Us

The first 3-D ‘Star Wars’ film to release in 2012

At this point (or more likely a point long ago), you’ve got to believe that George Lucas enjoys pissing on the faces of the throngs of fans who made him one of the richest men in the country.  The Star Wars saga is indeed getting a 3-D makeover, and as announced over the Fall, the films will be released in “chronological order.”  Not meaning in the order of their release into theaters, which is what everyone was hoping for, but in accordance with their place in the timeline of the story.  Meaning that, yes, our first look at a third-dimensionized Star Wars will be of Jar-Jar Binks spouting pidgin and falling over things in The Phantom Menace.  I can’t wait.

It’s now been announced that the first release will come on February 10, 2012.  And Lucas’ brilliant “order of reverse interest” release plan will see one film put into 3-D each year, meaning we won’t get to see The Empire Strikes Back until some time in 2016.  The guy still has that marketing panache.  Use a transfer into a new dimension to remind why we all came to hate you, then use the same transfer after that to remind us that, a long time ago, you could ask us to buy $30 plush Ewok ashtrays and we’d  wait in line seven hours to get one.

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